


who’s the man? me? YEAH YOU!

by amirlywritingfanficnow



Category: Andi Mack - Fandom
Genre: Buffy and Cyrus are so done with them, Humor, Lots of bro moments, Neighbors, Tarty friendship, they are the biggest dumbasses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-27 22:23:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19798981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amirlywritingfanficnow/pseuds/amirlywritingfanficnow
Summary: The one where Marty is TJ’s annoying neighbor and end up helping each other out, all the while being dumbasses.“Move to the left, Kippen! Left! Left! Your other left!”“YOU HAVE YOUR HANDS OVER MY EYES, YOU DIPSHIT!”-The Tarty friendship we all deserve.





	who’s the man? me? YEAH YOU!

TJ truly had no idea who “Marty from the Party” was. He didn’t know Marty from the Party was the kid who threw notes to the kid next to TJ and always, always ended up hitting him in the head. He didn’t know Marty from the Party was the guy who almost got suspended for blowing up an embarrassing picture of Dr. Metcalf. 

He also didn’t know that Marty from the Party was his annoying neighbor who threw rocks at his window whenever he “needed” something, or whenever he came out with a new SoundCloud beat and just needed someone to listen to it. 

At first, it was just a couple of times. Then TJ said something and it lit the wrong fire under Marty. The first couple of times it was something stupid but things you could actually need if you didn’t have it. Like salt, Gatorade, an iPhone charger. Then once TJ told him to knock on the door like a normal human being, the things got dumber and more frequent. 

After a couple of weeks, TJ learned how to ignore him. The saying “headphones in, world out” helped him out a lot. Only for him it was “headphones in, Marty out”. 

He really had no clue that his dumbass neighbor was the guy Buffy was gone for. 

Which was why he just about died when Buffy walked into The Spoon with Marty right beside her, cheesy grins from ear to ear on the both of them. The kid who broke his window not once, not twice, but three times, was Mr. The Party. 

“Hey, Juliet!” Marty greets TJ with an unreturned fist bump, before sitting down next to Buffy. 

“Juliet?” Buffy raises an eyebrow as Marty bursts out into laughter at the look at TJ’s face. 

“Our boy TJ right here is my neighbor.” Marty grinned when TJ slams his head against the table and groans. 

“What is happening right now? I thought you said you didn’t know Marty?” Buffy questioned. 

“I didn’t know I knew Marty. I didn’t think you knew my annoying neighbor.” TJ bit back, staring directly at the boy. 

Who just so happened to be rolling up the paper from around the utensils to throw at TJ. “Hey, Kippen, do you have extra napkins for Buffy here?” 

TJ grabbed the piece of paper and threw it right back at him. “Nope. Used mine up. Would you mind getting me some too?” 

“Sure thing, Juliet.” He stands up and as he’s about to walk away, he flicks the paper from the table and laughs as it hits TJ’s nose. 

God, TJ hated that kid. 

He could not believe this was the same Marty his friends always talked about. The same Marty that made Buffy blush whenever he texted her. He was truly baffled. 

It’s Saturday night, TJ’s laying on his bed, Bleachers playing in the background on vinyl. He’s feeling low and all he wants to do is sleep but, the universe won’t allow that, apparently. Or Marty. 

He hears the routine sound of a pebble hitting his window and he doesn’t know whether to just ignore him or get up and scream at him. 

The more he ignored the pebbles hitting his window, however, the more Marty threw. 

“It’s ten-thirty at night, what the fuck could you possibly need?” TJ whisper-shouts as he opens the window. 

“See, Juliet, I came here for advice.” Marty shouted and TJ grimaced at the thought of him waking his mom and Amber up. “Please! Tyler James Kippen, please!” 

“If you shut the fuck up and stop calling me Tyler James, then fine. Are you gonna come up the stairs like a normal person or?” 

“I think I’ll just climb up the drain pipe here.” 

“Of course you will.” TJ rolls his eyes and leaves the window open for the boy currently climbing up his drain pipe. 

“Uhhhh, Kippen? I need a little help here.”

When TJ looks back over at the window, all he sees his Marty half way through his window, struggling to get his way in. 

Once Marty was all the way in his room, it was quiet for two minutes as Marty looked around his room. 

“So, this is what your room looks like.” Marty snorts at the shelf of books on Greek Mythology among other biographies and books about History. “Who knew the great TJ Kippen was a history nerd.” 

“It’s interesting.” TJ starts off defensive. “Anyway, why are you even here?” 

“I told you Juliet, I need advice.” Marty states in a matter of fact tone. 

“Okay, and? Why are you asking me?” 

“It’s about Buffy.” Marty shrugs. 

“My question still stands: why are you asking me?” 

“Because I have a girlfriend but I can’t stop thinking about her and all of the feelings I had for her before we stopped talking are coming back and it’s driving me insane.” 

“Wait, wait, wait, you two aren’t dating?” TJ thought for sure they’d been dating and they just didn’t want to tell anyone right then. 

“No.” Marty groaned and picked up the foam Basketball, throwing it at TJ. 

“Dude, you two look at each other like you are.” TJ grabs the basketball and shoots it into the hoop that’s hanging from his door on the other side of the room. 

“That doesn’t help my problem here, Kippen.” Marty sighs as he attempts to get the ball into the basket before throwing it back to TJ. 

“Do you like your girlfriend as much as you like Buffy?” 

“Do you like your girlfriend as much as you like Cyrus?” At Marty’s question, TJ’s head snaps up, panic bubbling in his stomach. Was he really that obvious?

“Shut up. You don’t know anything.” He glared at him but let it go when Marty put his hands up in defense. “If you want my advice, which is going to suck, answer my question.” 

“I guess.” Marty shrugs. “It’s just, me and Buffy have so much in common. I don’t really have much in common with Rachel, or anything, really. She just gets mad at me all the time.” 

“If you’re unhappy to begin with, why are you still with her?” 

“I started dating her as a rebound from Buffy, she didn’t like me and Rachel did. At first, I really did like Rachel, too, but the longer we date, the more I wanna put my head into a blender.” 

“I don’t think your head would fit in a blender.” TJ states in all seriousness. 

Marty ponders his statement for a moment before nodding. “You’re right. Metaphorically then.” 

“Makes sense. Well, again, why are you still with her?” 

“Because Buffy doesn’t like me back.” 

“That makes absolutely no sense. You realize you don’t have to be in a relationship right? Also, there’s no way she doesn’t like you. Don’t get me wrong, I have no clue how anyone could wanna date you, but I see the way Buffy looks at you.” 

“Is it the way you look at Cyrus?” Marty raises his eyebrow. 

“Can you shut the fuck up about that?” 

“Alright, alright, Juliet, I’ll back off.” Marty rolls his eyes. “I have to go bowling with Rachel tomorrow, so I’ll break up with her then.” 

“Good.” TJ says, not really knowing what he was responding to. “Now, can you leave so I can sleep? We have school tomorrow and I’d like a semblance of a good night’s sleep before tomorrow’s game.” 

“Yeah, yeah. See ya, Kippen.” 

After that night, the two boys actually became somewhat friends. Marty still carried on with the rock throwing and TJ continued yell at him each time, but every time Marty needed advice, he’d climb up the drain pipe and they’d play a game of basketball in his room as they talked. 

They were a chaotic duo, Cyrus declared. 

It’s a Friday afternoon, it’s absolutely freezing out but he walked alongside Buffy as she crutched near the lake. She’d been ignoring Marty the way he’d been avoiding TJ so they were both due for a vent session about their perspective guys. Buffy was in the middle of ranting about how he doesn’t notice her feelings when they heard it. 

“Move to the left, Kippen! Left! Left! Your other left!”

“YOU HAVE YOUR HANDS OVER MY EYES YOU DIPSHIT!” 

“Stop! Stop! Stop! How do you stop this thing?” 

“How am I supposed to-“ 

Splash. 

The two boys thought it would be a good idea to joy ride on a hover board at the same time. TJ decided he’d control the thing and Marty would piggy back ride. 

That in itself was an awful idea. What made it worse was that Marty decided it’d be a good idea to attempt his ever so brilliant plan along the lake. 

Which was how they ended up trudging out of the lake, drenched from head to toe and freezing. 

“No! My hover board!” Marty exclaims dramatically. “Do you think it’ll still work?” 

“I don’t know, try it out!” 

“NO!” Their heads snap to the voice to see Buffy and Cyrus with exasperated expressions. 

“Buffy!” 

“Cyrus!” 

“You two are the biggest buffoons I’ve ever met in my entire life!” Cyrus exclaims as he takes off his jacket for TJ. 

Marty looked at Buffy expectantly when he saw what Cyrus was doing and Buffy just raised an eyebrow. “What? You expect me to give you my jacket? You’re the one that crashed into the lake on a hover board.” 

“But it’s cold.” 

“Well, damn, Marty. I can’t control the weather!” 

“Let’s go dry up at my house, you idiots.” Cyrus rolls his eyes with a fond smile on his face. He’ll admit when he stopped by TJ’s place and his mom said he was out with a friend, he thought it was Kira. He couldn’t believe the friend turned out to be Marty. 

Cyrus’ house was just down the street so it didn’t take long for TJ to feel the heat that was blasting. 

“Stay here while I get you dry clothes. Don’t touch anything.” 

TJ gasps. “I’ve been here plenty of times and you always tell me to make myself at home but now I can’t?” 

“Not when you’re with Marty.” Cyrus laughs as he’s walking up the stairs to his room. 

“Hey!” 

“So are you ever gonna talk about your feelings for Cyrus?” Marty brings up as they’re making their way to the Mack residence. 

“Will you let it go? Please?” TJ sighs. “Just because I forgave Kira does not mean I’m going to suddenly confess my undying love for my best friend.” 

“So we’re talking about it!” Marty practically squeals in excitement. “You remember how you gave me that advice like a month ago?” 

“Yeah?” 

“You thought me and Buffy were dating when we weren’t-“ 

“Which you still aren’t.” 

“Anyway, I seriously thought you were dating Cyrus.” He pauses. “Like Cyrus gives you those lovesick puppy eyes just as much as you give them to him.” 

“But what if it’s all in your head?” 

“It’s not.” 

“But what if it is?” 

“Buffy sees something between you, I know that. She’s Cyrus’ best friend. Trust me now?” 

“But what if he’s not gay? What if I’m just gay and I make everything awkward?” 

Marty gasps. “Bro, did you just officially come out to me?” 

TJ stops in tracks. “God damnit, never did I imagine you’d be the one I came out to first. Ugh.” 

“Oh, shut up, Juliet, you know you love me.” Marty laughs. “Now you just have to tell Cyrus. I don’t know if Cyrus likes boys or girls or both but I know he likes you. Anyone with eyes can see it. Go for it.” 

He takes in a deep breath. “Okay. I will. When you finally get the nerve to ask Buffy out.” 

Marty groans. “You suck, Kippen.” 

TJ just grins, knowing he got himself out of having to do anything terribly embarrassing tonight. 

The second they step into the Mack’s house, they notice Buffy and Cyrus by the stairs. 

“Buff-ay!” 

“Mar-tay!” 

TJ rolls his eyes but grins happily as he waves at Cyrus. Marty taps TJ on the back. 

“Bro! They have a chocolate fountain!” 

With that, TJ ran towards the chocolate fountain with Marty. 

“What the hell was that?” Marty snickers. “Your whole face lit up. How he doesn’t know is beyond me.” 

“Oh, yeah? Look who’s talking. You practically squealed when you saw Buffy.” 

“Fine then. Guess we’re the lovesick puppies now, huh, Kippen?” Marty snickers. “Is that Kira?” 

TJ turned to see Kira walking through the door. When Marty noticed how tense TJ got, he stepped in front of him. Both boys knew Kira wasn’t a threat anymore but Marty still had his doubts about the girl. No one messed with Buffy, or any of his friends for that matter. 

“Hey, dumbasses.” Kira laughed, grinning when she saw the offended looks on their faces. 

“Kira! What are you doing here?” 

“Buffy mentioned it, said to stop by if I could. Is that okay?” 

“Yes, it’s okay. Of course it’s okay. Why wouldn’t it be gay?” TJ sputters. “I mean, okay. Why wouldn’t it be okay?” 

Marty choked on his drink at TJ’s slip up. 

All Kira does is raise an eyebrow, pats TJ on the back, leaving with a “Don’t hurt yourselves, boys.” 

“Why wouldn’t it be gay?” Marty’s on the floor at this point, wheezing from laughter, words incomprehensible. 

“Get up finger foot.” TJ grumbles. “Let’s go hang out with Buffy and Cyrus.” 

“Don’t you mean Underdog?”

“Marty!” 

“Tyler James!” 

“TJ stands for Tyler James?!” Cyrus cuts in when they reach the best friends. 

“Dude!” TJ hisses. “I told you to stop calling me that.” 

“I’m pretty sure you only said it once and that was to shut me up.” Marty grins at the glare on TJ’s face. 

“Exactly. Shut up.” 

“Would you rather me call you Juliet?” 

“No but it doesn’t stop you from doing that, either.” 

“Bitch.” 

“Jerk.”

“GUYS!” They stop and look at their crushes and grin sheepishly. 

TJ notices the soft look in Buffy’s eyes while Marty notices the same look in Cyrus’ eyes and suddenly Marty finds the guts to do what he’s been afraid to do since they started talking again. 

“Hey, Buffy, can we go talk somewhere?” His voice alarms TJ. He knew what he was doing. 

TJ stares as they walk off, keeping an eye on the, unfortunately, soon-to-be couple as he talks to Cyrus. Well, talking would be the wrong word. 

While he stumbled out words to Cyrus. That’s more like it. 

It takes a second for TJ to focus fully on Cyrus but they get into a relatively easy conversation. That ends, however, when he sees Marty lean in and kiss the girl in front of him. 

“Is everything okay?” Cyrus puts a hand TJ’s shoulder.

“Um. Uh. I have to go.” TJ panics and walks into the house to find the nearest bathroom. 

“You got this, TJ. You can do it. You can tell him. You want to do this. He’ll be fine with it. Let’s do this, Kippen.” TJ talked to his reflection. If anyone saw him, he’d look batshit but this was how he hyped himself up for math tests and basketball games. 

When he went back outside, Marty was talking to Cyrus and Buffy, his arm wrapped around Buffy’s shoulders. He wanted that with Cyrus. 

“Marthalomew!” TJ shouts. “Come here.” 

Marty rolls his eyes but runs up to him. 

“What’s up, Tyler James?” 

“I’m going to ignore that for right now because I need you to tell me to do it. I need you to tell me to tell Cyrus. Pep talk me.” 

Marty rubs his hands together to hype it up more than it should be and pretends to do a huddle. 

“You got this, Kippen. You can do it. You go get your man! Sit him down and tell him how gay you are. Got it?!”

“Got it!” TJ confirmed. 

“Good! Now go get your man!” He whisper shouts before raising his voice. “You got this! Go!”

“Yeah!” TJ starts to walk away before Marty pulls him back. “What?” 

“You have chocolate on your face.” He wets his finger and tries to get it off of TJ’s face but TJ ducks away before he can. 

“Gross dude!” TJ laughs and wipes where Marty pointed out. “Better?” 

“Yup! Now go! You got this?” 

“I got this!” And TJ walks over to Buffy and Cyrus who were looking at him with bewildered eyes. They were definitely batshit. 

“Do I even wanna know what that was?” Buffy laughs. 

“Nope.” TJ grins, albeit shyly. “Can I talk to Cyrus?” 

Cyrus and Buffy share a look that TJ can’t quite understand but sits in Buffy’s spot as she leaves. 

“What’s up?” Cyrus looks over at TJ has he tries to settle his nerves. The dumb pep talk Marty had given him hyped him up for a second but the hype was gone. 

“I need to talk to you about something. Like important and stuff?”

“Important and stuff? Sounds serious.” Cyrus smirks a little. 

“Yeah. It is.” TJ bites his lip. “So like, you know how guys like girls?” 

He could hear Marty’s snickering in his head. 

Cyrus only nods. 

“Well, I like you.” TJ’s eyes widen. “I like guys. That’s what I said. You. I mean guys. Shit.” 

Cyrus’ eyes are wide and he says nothing, his cheeks are as red as TJ’s probably are and he could hear his breath. Cyrus tries to say something, and if it weren’t for the tiny smile on his face and the lovesick puppy look he notices on Marty all the time, TJ would’ve probably cried by now. 

“Is there anything you wanna tell me?” TJ urges on in hopes his crush was reciprocated. He puts his hand on top of Cyrus’ and waits for a response. Cyrus looks back up with those eyes and TJ knows exactly why he liked him as much as he did. 

“I like you, too. And guys. But mostly you.” Cyrus grins. 

“You do? Like forreal?” 

“Yes, Tyler James, forreal.” Cyrus laughs. 

“God damnit, Marty.” TJ groans. 

“It suits you. It’s cute.” 

TJ looks back over at Cyrus and suddenly felt so drawn to Cyrus, more than ever before. He looks down at his lips and back up. “Can I kiss you?” 

Cyrus nods and a second later their lips meet and TJ feels dizzy. Fireworks. Butterflies. Every cliché in the book and TJ felt it. 

“Woah.” They say at the same time and then burst out into giddy laughter. 

“We should get back to the rest of them before Marty dies without you.” Cyrus grins. 

“Yeah. Yeah we should.” God his mouth hurt from smiling so much. 

Cyrus grabs TJ’s hand and they run over to their friends. TJ doesn’t let go of Cyrus’ hand and Marty notices immediately. 

“Bro!” 

“Bro!”

Andi, Amber, Jonah, Bex and Bowie are the only ones in the group who had no idea what was going on. Buffy was used to their shenanigans and could guess what had happened. Kira knew because, Kira knew. 

“You did it! I knew that pep talk would work. Who’s the man?” 

“Me?” 

“Yeah, you!” 

The rest of the group just watched in bewilderment as they bro’d out. 

“You know what we should do celebrate our future of double dates?” Marty grabs onto TJ’s shoulders. 

“Karaoke?” 

“KARAOKE!” 

Buffy and Cyrus shared yet another look. A look of pure fondness and disbelief that these boys were who the universe decided was right for them. 

Boy, were they in for a ride.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos! comment! it makes me happy! hope you liked their dumbassery


End file.
